PDF Download A Better, Not Bitter Divorce: The Fair and Affordable Way to End Your Marriage, by BJ Mann
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A Better, Not Bitter Divorce: The Fair and Affordable Way to End Your Marriage, by BJ Mann
PDF Download A Better, Not Bitter Divorce: The Fair and Affordable Way to End Your Marriage, by BJ Mann
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Review
Kirkus Reviews -Â "A debut manual offers advice on navigating the rocky terrain of divorce.After her marriage of 25 years ended, Mann felt like a "puddle on the floor." With time, her pain faded, and now, as an advanced divorce mediator in upstate New York, she has helped thousands of others through the difficult process. Divided into five parts, the author's pragmatic handbook begins with a defense of mediation, calling it a less adversarial, less expensive alternative to hiring a lawyer. A professional mediator, writes Mann, is skilled in conflict resolution, guiding couples as they write a Memorandum of Understanding, which is a non-binding summary of agreements concerning the division of assets, child custody, and other issues. When the MOU is processed into the legal system, it becomes a Separation and Property Settlement Agreement. Part 2 of the author's informative read presents basics of the divorce process and the pros and cons of different filing options. For example, some "Do-It-Yourself" businesses help couples process paperwork but they don't assist with negotiations. Laying out some cold, hard facts, Part 3 deals with financial issues, such as federal taxes during divorce. Part 4 centers on children, including custody issues and co-parenting. And Part 5 gives some upbeat ideas involving self-care and moving on with life after the breakup. Even when discussing thorny issues, Mann's accessible prose has a calm, mature tone: "The biggest gift you can give your children is permission to have fun and love the other parent and, by extension, the parent's partner." Brimming with useful facts, figures, and tools--such as a calculator for determining spousal and child support--the book presents cleareyed tips. In addition, there is an abundance of gentle emotional advice, like how to tell children the marriage is over. While all of this information may seem overwhelming, Mann provides hands-on help for getting started (for example, a bullet-pointed checklist of assets). The worthy appendices include a budget template and resources for further reading.A valuable guide for exploring alternatives to divorce lawyers." - Kirkus Reviews
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About the Author
BJ Mann brings readers the benefit of her seventeen years as an advanced practitioner divorce mediator, along with more than thirty years of experience in business, mentoring, coaching, and community leadership. Prominent in her field, she is past president of the Rochester Association of Family Mediators, a former director and current member of the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation, and a member of the Collaborative Law Association of Rochester and the Association for Conflict Resolution. As an adjunct to her demanding mediation practice, BJ provides training to new mediators and teaches courses on how to get a divorce and conflict management. She lives in Rochester, New York with her husband, Turk, and her dog Grace, and several guest dogs at any given time.
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Product details
Paperback: 248 pages
Publisher: HopeHill Publishing (February 1, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0692994564
ISBN-13: 978-0692994566
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
5.0 out of 5 stars
33 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#274,051 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
A Better, Not Bitter Divorce is an incredibly helpful resource for anyone considering divorce or currently in a divorce. This handbook provides the "How-To" for many of the questions that arise through the divorce process. From identifying if you are ready for divorce to navigating the complexities of this emotional time, I highly recommend this book! I especially appreciated the authors hints that are sprinkled throughout. This book is easy to digest and leaves you feeling knowledgeable and prepared.
A Better, Not Bitter Divorce is an important resource for folks who are considering, or experiencing, divorce. Complex material is presented in clear, easy to understand language and format. Case examples are used effectively to illustrate and clarify. Highlighted "Better" nuggets of information speak to the heart of an issue. This is a straightforward discussion of the details of divorce. The heart of the book is the warmth and empathy that is so apparent in Ms. Mann's voice, especially as she discusses the emotional divorce. I understand how easy it is to become overwhelmed by the divorce process. Ms. Mann emphasizes the importance of self-care and healing, and she provides helpful suggestions for both. This book offers an empowering approach to the realities of divorce.
A very well-organized book; everything from letting go to all the practical details of doing so. The information on parenting and children and things that can’t be left out of an agreement are excellent. I especially like the “Better†and “Bitter†hints that are throughout the book. They’re fun (well, not that divorce is ‘fun’) little tidbits that make you think, “Oh… interesting!†They make a lot of sense. It’s clear that the author is writing from professional AND personal experiences. The beginning of each chapter even has a nice inspirational quote (I like those kind of things). Honestly, this book would be good for ANYONE to read because statistically EVERYONE knows someone going through a divorce! Lots of great insight. It’s an inexpensive great read! :)
For anyone who has wondered, 'Will I ever survive this?', "A Better, Not Bitter Divorce" will light a new and hopeful path forward.How I wish I had had BJ's book when I split up with my husband years ago. So much of my uncertainty, stress, and misery could have been alleviated. BJ's advice ̶ so practical and empathic ̶ would have eased my way. Her gentle, yet empowering tone, is both helpful and inspiring. At the same time, her practical advice is current and very much on target, with incredibly helpful financial tables and examples that help turn complicated matters into accessible and manageable action items.Years after my divorce, I finally found contentment and I now lead Live Alone and Thrive empowerment workshops for women trying to make sense of their lives after a divorce, death, or other painful separation. I will be recommending BJ's excellent how-to guide for negotiating a fair settlement and moving forward with confidence and a stronger sense of self. "A Better, Not Bitter Divorce" comes with my highest recommendation!
BJ Mann presents a highly readable book explaining all the details of what is involved in getting a divorce, including steps to follow, costs involved and various available options for each step. She includes a detailed section on practical steps and emotional approaches that are most effective in helping children deal with their parents’ divorce. Case examples illustrate each section. I especially like the lists of dos and don’ts, as well as mini-tips throughout the book on what factors contribute to a “bitter†divorce and what factors lead to a “better†or more cooperative divorce. She concludes with wisdom on self-care and leaves the reader with a sense of hope. As a licensed mental health counselor I am recommending this book to clients who are going through a divorce.
A Better, Not Bitter DIVORCE, the fair and affordable way to end your marriage, provides functional, intuitive and thought-provoking information. In it, BJ Mann wisely and compassionately helps those on the journey of healing during an often confusing, overwhelming, and anguishing time. BJ alerts them to the forks in the road that can have lasting negative outcomes and shows them the paths that can honorably connect one’s past, present and future (and the relationships of each) - supporting readers to remain true to their core values. This highly practical and insightful book is experience- and research-based “preventive medicine†that offers a dose of resilience with clear guidance, making the journey from dark nights to bright days gentler for adults, children, family and friends.
A Better, Not Bitter Divorce clarifies facts and dispels myths surrounding the divorce process. Clients will benefit from the comprehensive and thorough information BJ Mann provides including “divorce mathâ€, custody, relationship issues, and coming through the process to wholeness. This manual is much better than other divorce guides because it is so easily read with clear, concise examples and tips. In addition to practical financial guidance, the sections on healing and parenting are spot on for clinical practice. Professionals should include this book in their resource library as a go-to, comprehensive divorce guide for their clients.Lori Gelbort, MSW, LCSWA Better, Not Bitter Divorce: The Fair and Affordable Way to End Your Marriage
This is a beautiful book in so many ways -- so much more than a simple "how to" guide to divorce. Yes, it is full of helpful advice for those who wish to eliminate the trauma of separation. But more than that, it is a book of heart and soul, one that breathes wisdom, insight and grace. BJ draws not only on her expertise as one of the top tier divorce mediators in the country; she pulls in the lessons of her own spiritual journey to impart a sense of calm and steadiness about the whole process. This is a must-read for anyone who is contemplating the end of a marriage.
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